


five snow lights

by kurokeitos



Series: Seven Days of IDOLiSH7mas! [5]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Families of Choice, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, IDOLiSH7 Part 3 Spoilers, but not enough compared to the word length for me to tag them, mezzo is completely platonic in this ok, the other characters are in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-23 06:38:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17075258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurokeitos/pseuds/kurokeitos
Summary: “That’s the Nagicchi ornament, Sou-chan,” he says, as though that should have been obvious at first glance. Sougo’s confusion must be evident on his face, because Tamaki continues, "Cause it's warm like him."Sougo blinks and looks down at the ornament in his hand. It's cute, to say the least, even if the faces on the little figurines are a little haunting in their simplicity. He shakes it again, watching the glitter fall. "It's a very cozy scene," he agrees.Alternatively: MEZZO goes ornament shopping.





	five snow lights

**Author's Note:**

> “Good job, Tamaki-kun.”
> 
> it’s a mezzo baton pass!! hey my name is will and i just want yall to know that i really, truly made a pinterest board for this fic and lamented over how too many pretty things arent safe for babies (ainana)

Christmas in the IDOLiSH7 dorms trickles in more than it arrives.

In September, Riku is cheerfully humming Christmas tunes under his breath as he cleans. Sougo catches himself singing along more times than he can count, and he knows he’s not the only one who slips up, even if Iori isn’t likely to admit it. A neatly-penned note on the refrigerator reminds the members to pre-order their Christmas KFC at the end of October. Under Mitsuki’s handwriting, someone – Tamaki, he guesses – doodles a cutesy picture of a roasted chicken. The Pythagoras members begin to decorate their rooms by unanimously unspoken agreement on the 1st of November, and despite Yamato’s half-hearted complaints, it’s easy to see the joy in his eyes.

By mid-November, the Christmas spirit is in full swing in the dorms - it’s as if Sougo can feel the excitement radiating off the other members in waves. Just like the past years, it’s easily infectious. Even after all this time, it all still feels more chaotic and informal than he’s used to, but it’s comforting rather than disconcerting.

He supposes if it were something perfect, it wouldn’t be the IDOLiSH7 he’s grown to love, anyhow.

Still, despite the growing number of decorations on the other members’ doors (though he has the nagging suspicion that not all of the ones on Yamato’s were placed there by him), it’s not until December that Sougo begins to form concrete plans for decorating the dorm. This year, as in years past, MEZZO is in charge of decorations, and while he likes to think he and Tamaki are starting to get a rhythm down even in this, it doesn’t hurt to plan ahead a bit.

(Though after all these years, even Sougo has to privately admit that the Pinterest account he made two Christmases ago is no longer strictly for “research” purposes.)

IDOLiSH7 is busier now more than ever, especially at this time of year, so it’s hard to spare a moment for anything non-work-related and rarer still that even MEZZO” have the same days off. In the end, Sougo catches Tamaki one bright December morning at breakfast, placing a hand on his shoulder lightly. “Tamaki-kun, do you have a moment…?”

“Sure,” Tamaki says as he shrugs Sougo’s hand off and grabs a cup of pudding out of the fridge.

“Tamaki-kun.” They’ve done this song and dance enough times that Tamaki knows exactly what he’s going to say. He glances over his shoulder with a groan.

“Sou-chan,” he mimics. He turns around fully and gives Sougo a pout. It’s cute, but he’s not falling for it. “It’s Christmas. Why can’t I have pudding?”

Sougo’s first instinct is to remind Tamaki that Christmas isn’t for some weeks. He bites that down and goes with his usual instead. “You know you can’t eat just pudding for breakfast.”

“If I eat, like, three puddings, shouldn’t that be enough nutrients?” Tamaki groans.

Iori pipes up from his place by the coffeemaker, “Yotsuba-san, pudding doesn’t contain the essential nutrients of a balanced breakfast.” He pauses, and adds before Tamaki can speak up, “Not even if you consume three of them.”

Tamaki reluctantly shuffles back to the fridge to return the pudding, though not without grumbling something that sounds like, “Pudding has nutrients, you guys are just mean.” He perks up when Mitsuki hands him a plate of actual breakfast. Sougo waits until he’s seated to try again.

“Tamaki-kun, I still have another question I wanted to ask you…”

“Yeah?” Tamaki mumbles around a mouthful of eggs and Sougo bites back any complaints he has about table manners. He _does_ have something of a favor to ask him.

“I wanted to know when your next day off is,” he starts. “It’s about that time of year when we ought to start decorating - ”

“But Rikkun’s been decorating since September.”

“ _Tamaki-kun_ ,” Sougo says. He pauses and sighs. “I meant the dorm decorations. I know we’re busier this year than last year, so I’m not sure if we’ll be able to decorate together.”

“Aw, but decorating with other people is part of the fun!” Riku says. Sougo has to agree, though doing things together with the other IDOLiSH7 members had a way of making almost any activity feel more fun.

“Well, we can’t help that we’re busy. The end of the year’s full of a lot of different programs and events,” Mitsuki points out.

He starts grabbing empty plates from the table, and Sougo jumps up to help him, but he’s quickly waved back down. “I’ve got this, _mom_ ,” Mitsuki says with a laugh. “But it’s true you guys haven’t decorated this year, huh. Do you want our help with that?”

Tamaki answers before he can. “No,” he says resolutely. “You guys already did your things.”

“What I think Tamaki-kun means,” Sougo cuts in quickly, “is that decorating is MEZZO’s contribution to the Christmas festivities. We appreciate the offer, but we want to do something for you guys too. I promise I’ll let you know if we need any assistance.”

He pointedly ignores that Yamato and Mitsuki both level him with a gaze that spells doubt.

To his left, Tamaki nods excitedly. “Yeah!” He puffs up a bit with pride and Sougo can’t help the swell of warmth that fills his chest. Even now, that kid really loves Christmas. “Leave it to us, you guys. Sou-chan and I can handle it.”

“If you say so,” Yamato mutters not so discreetly against the rim of his cup. Mitsuki kicks his chair and he just narrowly avoids spilling his drink down his shirt as he jerks forward.

“Oh yeah!” Tamaki turns so he’s fully facing Sougo, breakfast forgotten for now. “Sou-chan, when’re you free? We gotta decorate.”

It certainly didn’t take him long to get into the Christmas spirit, Sougo muses. He pulls up the calendar app on his phone. “Ah… I’m free this week,” he says, turning his phone around so Tamaki can look at it.

Tamaki nods, his eyebrows scrunching together in thought before he brightens up. “I think we have a day off together, Sou-chan!”

That’s a lucky coincidence — is what he wants to think, but Sougo’s willing to bet a certain hard-working girl had a hand in that. It’s rare that he and Tamaki have the same days off, but this is the third year in a row they’ve had enough time to be able to decorate together.

“That’s great,” he replies with a smile. He makes a mental note to ask Tamaki if he’s getting anything for Tsumugi; it’d be nice if they gifted her something together as a unit. He continues, “Would you like to go with me on a quick trip to the shopping center? There might be something we’d like there.”

They don’t need any more decorations, not really - after all these years, they’ve more than amassed enough ornaments in the first year between the Izumi brothers’ generous contributions and his own holiday shopping. But to no one’s surprise, the sheer amount of ornaments they already have does absolutely nothing to deter the more cheerful members. With every new celebration, new trinkets seem to pop up everywhere, and while Sougo has never been one to partake in needless spending, this year has already been unusual enough that he might as well step out of his own little box.

Tamaki’s eyes light up, and it’s in that moment that Sougo remembers something.

“Ah, that’s right. You didn’t go with me that first year, did you?” His partner had had a lot of suggestions; since Sougo had never been Christmas shopping before, it’d been a life saver. Tamaki had helped select the ornaments they’d gotten from the Izumi family, too. There's no use in kicking his past self, but Sougo wonders why he'd never thought to suggest shopping with him before now.

Well – he might not be able to change the past, but he can at least rectify it now, right? "Let's go, then," he says resolutely. "There's not much I'd want, but it's worth it to at least look at what they have, right? It'll be my treat."

 

* * *

 

“There’s a lot of stuff here, Sou-chan,” Tamaki says in unabashed wonder as Sougo quietly greets one of the shop’s workers.

“Of course there is,” Sougo says, “There are many different types of decorations, for one.” Do they need a cart? It’s not as though they’re buying too many things, so maybe a basket is fine? “ — ah, Tamaki-kun, stay close to me,” he calls out as he grabs Tamaki’s wrist. A basket should be fine; he grabs one and tugs Tamaki in the general direction of the Christmas decorations before letting go.

“... And people have different tastes, so stores tend to have a lot of variety even with the same type of decoration. Take wreaths, for example – there’s the traditional kind that everyone knows, but there’s also different and more modern takes on the same aesthetic. It’s really fascinating.”

Tamaki gives a grunt in response and Sougo figures he ought to cut his losses while he can. It’s unsurprising that Tamaki would have less interest than he does in the  particulars of Christmas decorations people come up with. He trails along a few feet behind Sougo, taking in the aisles and aisles of decorations. There’s a few people wandering around in the shop besides them, but it’s still a bit early in the month for there to be a rush of last minute decoration shopping and Sougo breathes a sigh of relief.

He checks quickly over his shoulder to glance back at Tamaki with a smile.  It wouldn’t have been too big of an issue for them to go separately, or for just one of them to make a trip, but Sougo has to admit that it’s nice to be able to do this together with his partner. After all their ups and downs, it feels like MEZZO can be a team on this at least.

Of course, it takes two rows of garlands and fake branches for him to realize he’s _lost_ said partner.

“Tamaki-kun?” Sougo calls out quietly, poking his head into the next aisle. No luck – it would be easier if he could raise his voice and call out to Tamaki, but with IDOLiSH7’s growing popularity, it’s important for them to stay on the down low if they want to have a peaceful shopping experience.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wonders when he truly started feeling as motherly as his senpai and unitmates liked to tease him about; he feels a bit like a parent who’s lost track of his child in the store. Tamaki is a growing boy anyway, he reasons – he’ll be fine even if Sougo can’t find him right away.

In the end, it turns out he doesn’t need to look too far. Some aisles down, he finds Tamaki in the middle of a display of Christmas trees, methodically working his way through a bin of ornaments. Sougo resists the urge to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Tamaki-kun, you shouldn’t wander off like that,” Sougo scolds in lieu of a greeting.

The younger boy glances up at him, holding a little plush ornament in each hand. It’d be cute in any other scenario, but Sougo still feels more stressed than anything else. “I wanted to see what kinda ornaments they had. You were just staring at the fake plants like you do with your Trigger albums, so.”

“I wasn’t – ” Sougo cuts himself off with a sigh. There’s little use even bothering with that conversation. He glances over to the bin of assorted ornaments, from tiny cacti to knit Santas to flamingos. They don’t _really_ need more ornaments, but – “well, in any case, it’s fine if you’re looking around, but try to not to wander so far that you can’t see me anymore, okay?”

Tamaki nods without looking at him and gives a noise in affirmation, but Sougo knows that he’s been understood. Feeling a bit calmer, he glances around. 

He didn’t lie to Tamaki when he said there wasn’t much he wanted to get this year, but there is _one_ thing that he has been meaning to get. It doesn’t take him long to locate what he’s looking for, even if it does involve straying a bit away from Tamaki. Sougo has to strain his neck a bit, but at least the other is still technically in his line of sight. He picks up a box and casts a quick glance to his left.

There’s a first time for everything, he quietly reminds himself as he walks back over to his partner.

“Tamaki-kun,” Sougo calls out, pulling Tamaki’s attention away from the bin of ornaments. The younger boy is still combing through ornaments, but he nods to indicate that he’s listening. Sougo takes that as his cue and continues, “Do you remember our first Christmas together?”  
  
Tamaki furrows his brow. “Yeah,” he says. The inflection in his voice makes it sound more like a question than an answer, and he lifts his gaze from the ornament in his hand to look at Sougo curiously. “Why do you ask? Do you not remember, Sou-chan?”

Sougo shakes his head. “No, nothing like that. I was just wondering if you remembered our earliest decoration plans. You made a suggestion to me, back then.”

It takes a moment, but Tamaki brightens up in realization, his expression relaxing. “Oh yeah. The candles? I thought you said we couldn’t have them, though.”

“We still can’t,” Sougo corrects. “But…” He moves closer and turns over the box of electric candles in his hands so that Tamaki can see the label. “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind an imitation. I know it’s not the same thing, but – ”

“No,” and in the back of his head Sougo thinks that he ought to remind Tamaki he shouldn’t interrupt others when they’re speaking, but he stays silent. “I like it.”

A tension he hadn’t realized he’d been holding drops from Sougo’s shoulders. “I’m glad,” he says quietly. He looks back down at the box in his hands, checking over the label again. “We’ll have to be careful not to get too many, since electricity can still pose a fire hazard, but at least this way we can have something that elicits the same feel that real candles would have. Though I suppose they wouldn’t have any scent…”

“Well, yeah, but they wouldn’t smell _bad_ either.”

Sougo supposes he can’t argue with that logic.

He tries to calculate how many candles they would need – not _too_ many; there’s only so many surfaces they could use to display candles back at the dorm. A box should be enough, but maybe they should get two of them just to be on the safe side? He turns to deposit the box he’s already grabbed in the cart – and pauses.

“Tamaki-kun?” Sougo reaches into their cart and pulls out what looks to be just a regular snow globe, albeit small, but at second glance, he can see the telltale loop of a Christmas ornament. It seems to be made out of plastic instead of glass, and Sougo breathes a quiet sigh of relief. It’s not particularly intricate, all things considered – a couple of trees on a snowy field, with a Christmas tree rising high in the middle and children playing in the snow around it. He can’t help but crack a smile as he shakes the ornament and watches the glitter “snow” swirl through it. He glances over at Tamaki, holding up the ornament in silent question.

Tamaki is still playing around in the bin, tossing a little bell back in forth in his hands, but he lifts his head and gives Sougo a Look. “That’s the Nagicchi ornament, Sou-chan,” he says, as though that should have been obvious at first glance. Sougo’s confusion must be evident on his face, because Tamaki continues, "Cause it's warm like him."

Sougo blinks and looks down at the ornament in his hand. It's cute, to say the least, even if the faces on the little figurines are a little haunting in their simplicity. He shakes it again, watching the glitter fall. "It's a very cozy scene," he agrees. He feels as though he's seen this particular setting more than once – the members, curled up together, playing in the snow, sharing cheer. His heart feels light; it’s certainly the kind of thing that Nagi would like.

“You want an ornament for Nagi-kun?” It’s not a bad idea, the more he considers it. They’ve all added their own personal touches to the tree in years past (Tamaki’s beloved King Pudding ornament as a star comes to mind), but he doesn’t think there’s been specific ornaments _for_ the members. Or at the very least, not ones that were meant to represent them as people.

“Not _just_ Nagicchi, Sou-chan,” Tamaki says with a shake of his head. “One for everyone.” He glances back at the large bin with a frown. “I haven’t found the others yet, though. 'Cept for Nagicchi's, the stuff here is pretty boring...”

“I see...” Sougo pauses in thought and casts a quick glance at his watch. It’s still pretty early in the day, after all. They should still make it back to the dorms in time for dinner, even if they make a detour here or there. “...Well, if you want there are other stores we can look at if you can’t find something you like here, Tamaki-kun.”

“Really? Nice!” He throws up a hand in victory - which happens to be the one holding on to the bell so it’s a very jingly victory. A worker whips their head around to stare at them and Sougo hurriedly waves Tamaki into silence, but privately, he can't but feel similarly excited.

 

* * *

 

“I had no idea there were this many stores that carried Christmas decorations,” Sougo says when they’ve hit their third store.

Tamaki holds the bag – with their candles and the “snow angel” ornament – close to his chest with a huff. “They’re all boring, though.”

“Well, that’s true.” Most of the stores in the shopping center, it turned out, sold more packets of plastic balls than anything else. The glass ornaments at least had some variety, but memories of the “Nanase Star Incident” have him steering Tamaki firmly away from anything breakable. It’s been almost two years since he’d last gone out to buy Christmas decorations, so he’d forgotten how much shopping for decorations can feel like he’s baby-proofing their dorms more than anything else. Though he gets the feeling he might never be able to live it down if he admits that particular thought to Mitsuki or Yamato.

“Christmas shouldn’t be boring, though,” Tamaki grumbles, holding the bag to his chest tighter.

At the least, it’s hard for anything to be boring back home with the other members, ornaments or no ornaments. “We still have our old ornaments, so we could go back to the dorms if you’d like?” he offers.

Tamaki shakes his head. “It can’t just be Nagicchi who has an ornament.”

They don’t really _need_ to tell the others that the snow globe ornament is supposed to represent Nagi, but something in the furrow of Tamaki’s brows tells him it might not be the most well-received idea. He hums in thought. They’ll be late for dinner at this rate; if it were just him, it’d be fine, but he doesn’t want a growing boy like Tamaki to miss any meals. As the older one, he really ought to put his foot down whether Tamaki likes it or not.

But one look at his partner’s expression has his resolve crumbling. It seems like he's a little weak to Tamaki during the Christmas season after all, and this store seems like it might have some more variety at least. It’s at least less commercially uniform than some of the other ones they’d visited. “One last store, then,” he says.

Tamaki lights up right away and the last fragments of Sougo’s resolve collapses. He nods in the direction of the Christmas ornaments. “I’ll go get a shopping basket, but you can take a look around as long as you stay close by. Do you remember what I told you at the first store?”

“Don’t wander off,” Tamaki repeats, already staring longingly at the Christmas decorations. “And, uh – make sure I can see you.”

“That’s right.” He gently pries the bag from Tamaki. “We can’t stay too long, ok?”

Tamaki nods distractedly, and Sougo resists the urge to sigh. Well, he had kept him long enough. “Alright,” he says, patting Tamaki’s shoulder. “You can go.”

It’s like a switch is flipped and Tamaki takes off almost instantly, calling a “Thanks, Sou-chan!” over his shoulder.

Sougo lets his shoulders drop and shakes his head. It seems that no matter how many years pass, there are some things that never change.

He locates a shopping basket easily, placing their bag in it carefully and navigating his way towards the decorations. He spots Tamaki along a row of ornaments, looking all too focused for a task as simple as decoration shopping that Sougo has to hide a smile. It’s cute to watch Tamaki try so hard to pick out ornaments for everyone. He doesn’t want to hover over him too much, and he hadn’t planned to buy more than the candles himself, so he finds himself aimlessly wandering and taking in the outdoor decorations. Maybe they ought to look into putting decorations at the front of the dorms, or their office? It might attract too much attention to their location, though.

He’s so focused on that train of thought that he doesn’t notice Tamaki wandering over to him.

“Sou-chan! Look!” Tamaki calls out. Sougo jumps, nearly dropping the basket and whipping around to look over at where his unitmate is enthusiastically waving his hand.

Sougo glances over to the side where some aunties are giving them the stink eye and winces. “Tamaki-kun, I can hear you just fine, so you don’t have to be so loud…”

Tamaki grumbles, but he does at least lower his voice. “Just – here,” he says, grabbing Sougo’s hand and depositing something. It jingles lightly against Sougo’s palm, and he inspects it – a round, red bell, and a small stuffed brown bear attached on top.

He can already guess who this ornament is meant to be (a certain someone, who’s still adorably cherishing a well-loved brown bear from some Christmases back), but he holds it up towards Tamaki. It tinkles gently as he moves it and he can’t help but smile. “This is Riku-kun, right?”

Tamaki nods excitedly and Sougo feels as though he can almost see sparkles around him like in one of Nagi’s anime. “Yeah, see.” He points to the little bear’s scarf and tiny top hat. “It looks like Umi-chan when Rikkun dresses her up for Christmas.”

“So it does,” Sougo says with a smile. “He really does love that bear, huh.” There hasn’t been a Christmas since the ‘birth’ of Umi-chan the third that Riku hasn’t brought out both his ugly sweaters and the little brown bear, decked in her signature scarf and a miniature Christmas hat.

“Duh,” Tamaki says without any heat. “Plus she’s a gift from Iorin.”

After all this time as partners, Sougo feels he can guess where this is going. He tries, “So she’s extra special then, right?”

Tamaki nods. “Cause Rikkun loves Iorin.” 

The little bear jingles as Sougo places it in their basket and sets it on the ground. How cute - it even sounds bright and clear, just like their Riku. “And Iori-kun loves Riku-kun too.” A thought occurs to him and he straightens up. “Ah – it’s like that ornament from our first year, isn’t it?”

“Except this one won’t break,” Tamaki points out.

It’s better that their center doesn’t break either, but it feels a bit morbid to put it like that, so Sougo simply says, “No, it won’t, so it’s fine if we put this one up in our tree.”

He glances up and tilts his head. “Do you have ornaments for anyone else, Tamaki-kun?”

Tamaki shakes his head. “There’s a lotta stuff here.”

“Like in the first store?”

“Nah. Like,” Tamaki gestures at the row of ornaments behind Sougo, “there’s a lot of different kind of ornaments.”

Sougo glances behind him – and blinks. There are certainly very… _unique_ designs behind him. For the first time since stepping foot in this store, Sougo wonders if they’ll really be able to find ornaments for everyone.

“You’re right,” he says slowly, looking back to Tamaki. “Do you want to try going someplace else?” But even as he’s asking the question, Tamaki is shaking his head.

“Nah.” He looks at the ornaments determinedly. “There’s a lotta stuff, so it’s easier to find different stuff too.”

“If you say so,” Sougo concedes. “Well, we’ve at least got ornaments for Nagi-kun and Riku-kun, so that’s two of our members. Do you want to try looking for Yamato-san, Mitsuki-san, and Iori-kun?”

“Oh!” Tamaki yells and Sougo only just stops himself from jumping again. “There was something I saw,” Tamaki continues, looking to his left before glancing back at Sougo. “Wait here, Sou-chan!”

“Where else would I go…?” Sougo murmurs as he watches Tamaki take off again. He shakes his head and pulls out his phone, sending a quick message to the older members of IDOLiSH7. It’s probably better if he warns them ahead of time, in case they’re late getting back. Mitsuki answers first, wishing them good luck.

“Sou-chan, catch.”

He expects another small trinket, so he’s a bit startled when Tamaki drops a pack of ornaments into his hands. It’s only by reflex and a bit of sheer luck that he clutches the packet to his chest with a sigh. He glances down to inspect it. “A box?” he asks.

A nod. “Yeah. Cause they didn’t sell just one of them,” Tamaki explains.

“I… see,” Sougo says, even though he very much does not see. He wonders what ornament Tamaki could want so badly to go so far as to purchase multiple of them, but the label doesn’t give him any real answers. “Star lanterns…?” he reads out.

Tamaki answers the question before he even asks: “For Mikki.”

Sougo blinks and inspects the box again. It’s exactly as it reads on the packaging - a star lantern, with six little tiny lanterns and what looks like tiny LED “stars” inside of them. He briefly wonders whether they’d even have the kind of battery these lanterns require, but the box proudly proclaims it comes with its own batteries.

“It’s a kind sentiment,” Sougo says, because he’s been quiet too long and feels like he has to say _something_. He tries to put his own reasoning to it: a star, because Mitsuki shines brightly, illuminates the rest of IDOLiSH7 with his dazzling glow.

Tamaki is more than kind enough to fill in his mental gaps. “Mikki’s great at MCing, so he’s good at shining on other people, but he shines bright too, like a star.”

“That’s a really creative way of putting it, Tamaki-kun,” Sougo earnestly praises. That’s right, Tamaki did like stars, didn’t he? It makes sense that he would come up with such an interesting metaphor, though it’s unlikely Tamaki himself had thought of it that way. “Mitsuki-san really is at home with variety, isn’t he? It always puts me feel at ease to know that we have such a talented MC with us. Though… I wonder…”

Sougo lifts up the package so Tamaki can look at it too. “I’m sure there are other ornaments in the store that are star-shaped. Why did you pick this one?”

If it was stars that Tamaki wanted, it wasn’t really easy to even tell these were meant to stars – they were so small, and though the little lanterns really were pretty (and would undoubtedly be more so once lit) their designs drew attention away from the stars.

“Cause it’s not _just_ a star,” Tamaki says, as though that weren’t obvious just from the label. He points at the box anyway, where a picture on the front showcases what the little ornaments should look like when lit. “It’s a lantern. They’re warm when they’re lit.”

“I’m not sure I’m following,” Sougo admits. “What does this have to do with Mitsuki-san?”

“Cause he’s warm,” Tamaki huffs, and suddenly it all makes sense. “He’s really friendly and energetic and all. Even the people on sets like him a lot too, right?”

Sougo nods. Of course they do – he’d be more surprised if someone _didn’t_ like Mitsuki after being in the same room as him. He has a natural charm that sets people at ease, and the ability to work up a crowd. It’s easy and comfortable to fall into his pace.

“Well, you’re right; it is very fitting. I suppose we’ll just have to purchase the pack,” he muses, bending over to grab the shopping basket where he’d abandoned it on the floor.

“I got something for Iorin too,” Tamaki says, pulling out another ornament to show Sougo. Sougo blinks. It’s very cute – a little penguin with a candy cane striped scarf, seated in a bright red wagon alongside a Christmas tree. There’s just one issue.

“Tamaki-kun…”

“Mm?”

“As cute as it is,” he starts carefully, “don’t you think Iori-kun might not like an ornament that reads ‘Baby’s 1st Christmas’...?”

Tamaki pulls back the ornament to look at it, brows furrowed as though that thought hadn’t occurred to him at all. “It’s cute, and Iorin likes cute things,” he says.

That’s not the point, but Sougo just shakes his head. “There’s plenty of penguin ornaments, right? Why don’t you look over there and I’ll look here?” He gestures to another row of assorted ornaments to his right. “We can regroup in a few minutes and share what we each found, okay?”

Tamaki casts a glance at the penguin in his hands before nodding and chucking it unceremoniously into the nearest bin. Despite the noise it makes, the little penguin appears like it landed safely and Sougo laughs quietly.

He spends the next couple of minutes working his way through the rows of ornaments along the wall, the haphazard pile of penguin ornaments in his left hand steadily growing.

“Sou-chan,” comes Tamaki’s voice from someplace behind him.

He glances over his shoulder. “Hm? What is it, Tama - ” Sougo cuts off as he catches sight of Tamaki - and the bundle of assorted penguin-related ornaments in his arms. He’d thought his own pile was getting impressive but this is a different level entirely. “...Are those all for Iori-kun?” Even as he asks, it’s obvious there’s not anyone else the ornaments _could_ apply to but.

Tamaki gives a jerk of his head that could be either a yes or a no. Sougo’s not sure the distinction matters in this particular scenario. “Sou-chan, they’re all cute,” he says, and the little whine in his tone reminds Sougo of just how young he is. “How do I choose _one_?”

Sougo looks over at the ornaments in his hands. They’re all pretty similar, considering they all feature penguins; it seems there’s only so much people can think to do with penguins, even in a store with as odd ornaments as this one. It’s hard to distinguish anything better or worse about one versus the other, but after a bit of thought, he points to one. Tamaki follows his gaze.

“The balloon penguin?” He shifts his arms a bit so that the penguin is a bit closer to the top of the collection he’s amassed, so Sougo takes the opportunity to pull it free from the penguin pile. It’s nothing out of this world, but Sougo points to the rainbow balloons the penguin is holding on to.

“It looks like our colors,” he says, smiling unconsciously. “Iori-kun does a lot to support and protect IDOLiSH7, so I think he’d like something like this.”

Tamaki bends over to inspect it closer. “Yeah,” he says after a few seconds of silence. “It’s cute, so it’s something Iorin would like cause of that. And since it looks like us, Iorin would like that too.” Tamaki smiles wryly and adds, “Even if he’s too tsundere to admit it.”

Well – he’s not wrong, but he probably shouldn’t say it so bluntly like that. Sougo leans over to place the ornament in the basket – besides Riku’s little bell and Mitsuki’s box of star lanterns.

“We’re starting to amass quite a collection here, aren’t we?” he mutters to himself. Louder, he says, “Tamaki-kun, we have Yamato-san left still, right? Why don’t you go put those penguins down and we can try to find one for him together?”

Privately, he wonders if they ought to be adding their senpai to this ornament endeavor, but considering how long they’ve taken with just their own members, it might not be best to give Tamaki the idea.

“Sure,” Tamaki says, looking to the bin to his left. “Sou-chan, can I just put them here?” he asks, even as he’s already placing some of the ornaments down. Well – the store’s decorations are such a strange medley of items anyway that Sougo’s not sure anything _has_ a “correct spot,” and if it did he’s not sure he’d be able to find it. He winces and hopes that whoever has to deal with the ornaments isn’t going to be inconvenienced by this. He watches as Tamaki places a handful of penguins down and displaces the rest of the ornaments.

Once the penguins have been safely released into the wilds of the ornament bin, Sougo asks, “Do you have anywhere in particular you want to check first for Yamato-san’s ornament?”

“Not really,” Tamaki says with a shrug. “I’ve kinda just been looking around and hoping I’ll find something that way.”

A haphazard method, but it’s not like Sougo has been doing anything better. “Well,” he starts, “we can try looking at these rows of ornaments?” He gestures at the ornaments along the wall. “It’s easier to see what each ornament is when they’re arranged like this, instead of in the bins,” he says.

It’s when he turns to point out the ornaments to Tamaki that something glittery green catches Sougo’s eye. He looks back to the bin and picks up an ornament – a bass, glittery but obviously stylized to be reminiscent of an old-school singing fish wall mount – and holds it out to Tamaki with a grin. “Maybe this one could work for Yamato-san? He often talks about how he’s ‘too old’ for things, so something old like him might be fitting.”

He doesn’t expect Tamaki to grab for the fish, so he jumps a bit when it’s taken from his hands, but finds himself holding back a laugh at the look of concentration on his partner’s face.

“Maybe…” Tamaki mutters after a couple of seconds of what looked like intense thought. “Fishing’s an old people thing, right?”

“Not exactly…”

“But it’s not festive,” Tamaki continues like he hasn’t heard anything. “Rikkun and Nagicchi and Iorin’s are all festive, so Yama-san has to match.”

Sougo deflates a bit. “Ah, right. I’d already forgotten that part.” He holds out his hand for the fish and Tamaki plops it unprompted into his palm. “I can just place this one back in the bin where I found it, okay? How about you try finding one you like?”

“Sure,” Tamaki replies with a shrug, already walking away before Sougo has even finished speaking.

“Don’t wander too far, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”  

Sougo sighs and looks down at the fish in his hand. "I guess it's not good enough..." He reaches over to the bin he'd gotten it from and pauses, something shiny catching his eye. The gears in his head start to turn, and he runs his fingers over it in thought. Maybe...

"Sou-chan?"                                                                                                                           

Sougo whips around, slipping his hand into his pocket on instinct. His heartbeat drums in his ears and he glances to the side where one of the shop's worker is quietly sorting one of the shelves. _I'm not stealing anything, I swear,_ he tries to telepathically communicate.

Tamaki's at his side in the next instance, shaking his shoulder insistently and pulling his attention from the clerk. "Sou-chan, you gotta see this." He doesn't wait for an answer before he's pulling up an ornament and holding it in Sougo's face.

"Tamaki-kun, I can't see it if you hold it so close..." Sougo steps back and takes in the little clay ornament in all its wonder – Santa seated on a crate branded with a symbol that looks too much like the logo of a certain American beer brand to be sheer coincidence. In front of him, attached to the reins where Santa's twelve trusty steeds ought to be, is a pack of six bottles with antlers on them.

It's such a stupid pun, he thinks as he tries his best to hide a smile. He doesn’t succeed. “Why is this one Yamato-san? Apart from the beer, of course.” The reinbeer, rather, but he's not sure that Tamaki would get the joke.

“Cause Yama-san’s the leader. And he’s nice and does stuff for us, even though he doesn’t wanna say it,” Tamaki says with a huff.

“Ah, that’s true,” he agrees. “Yamato-san likes to try to shoulder things and then play it off like he’s more aloof than he actually is.” He lifts up the ornament to inspect it better. “And he’s content to not get credit - a bit like Santa-san, I suppose.”

“Except Santa probably doesn’t drink beer.”

This time, Sougo holds back his smile, but only barely. Tamaki can be such a charming kid sometimes. “No, he doesn’t. Since he’s got to deliver presents, I think that’d be considered drinking and driving anyway.”

"How can people arrest Santa if they can't even see him?" Tamaki asks, dropping the ornament in the basket unceremoniously. He apparently doesn't care for an answer, because he continues, "We're still missing something."

Sougo glances down at the basket and counts five ornaments, one for each of their members. "Aren't we done, though...?"

"Nah," Tamaki says, and gives no other explanation as he reaches behind Sougo to grab something off a row of ornaments. He takes a look at it and then tosses it in the basket with a nod, apparently satisfied with whatever he sees. Sougo follows the trajectory of the little silver ornament and freezes.

There’s only one answer left, really, but Sougo still feels as though he has to ask. He picks up the last ornament and inspects it – a glittery eighth note. “And this is… me?” It’s a little gaudy-looking, all things considered, but he supposes it’s cute in a way, even if it isn’t something he would have picked out for himself. It’s a little odd that he’d have a music-related ornament even though their statuses as idols means all of them have _something_ to do with music, but he supposes his love of music is especially obvious these days given MEZZO’s radio show.

A thought occurs to him suddenly and he asks, “Is it because I said I want to compose for MEZZO?” It makes far more sense if he thinks of it that way: an eighth note is the closest ornament to sheet music they’re bound to find in a commercial store.

But Tamaki shakes his head a bit.  “Sorta,” he says with a shrug. Sougo’s not sure what else it _could_ mean, but he lets Tamaki take the ornament from him and hold it up above their heads. “But also cause it’s sparkly, so it looks like you. See?” He lifts the ornament up away from them. The light catches the glitter and at this angle Sougo has to admit it does look a bit pretty, even if he’s too confused to properly appreciate it. “If it’s shiny, you can see it even if you’re not up close.”

Sougo likes to think he’s gotten at least a bit better about his self-deprecating instincts, but he can’t help it this time – he’s not someone so radiant to stand out that much in this world of idols.

Rather than voice that, he quietly asks, “You can see me even if I’m not close?”

“No. But I don’t think you can see any of us if you’re not close,” Tamaki says plainly. He lets his arm fall down and places the eighth note among the pile of ornaments – twinkling in the light, but still a part of the little disjointed group Tamaki has put together. “But lately it’s easier to hear you, cause you can speak with a louder voice now. Like that time on the radio show.”

There’s a myriad of emotions the thought of that day elicits – guilt, fear, sadness, joy – but Sougo swallows it all down and glances down at the ornaments.

“Well,” he says. In the basket, the little eighth note glitters alongside their five other members. It’s such a haphazard looking group, but there’s a part of Sougo that can’t help but think they look nicer together than he’d have thought. “That’s because of you too, Tamaki-kun. If you hadn’t come with me that day...”

He’s not sure wants to go down that train of thought, much less in a public setting, so he settles for saying, “I’m still not sure I can ever thank you enough for that.”

Tamaki gives him a Look and Sougo wonders, not for the first time, if maybe he’s missed some part of this conversation they’re having. “You already said thank you, so isn’t that already enough?” he says, like it’s that simple.

And maybe it is - or it can be. But Sougo doesn’t feel like he’s quite glittery enough, dazzling enough for that. He feels more like a harsh, glaring pile of glass than a beautiful ornament or a shining idol. Even as time passes with IDOLiSH7, with MEZZO, and he finds it easier to talk, to breathe, to exist, he still wonders if it’s possible to glue and tape the pieces of himself back together.

But it’s a step, he thinks with a deep breath. For now he’ll do his best to meet Tamaki halfway and try believe that it’s enough, even as every instinct in him cries out in opposition.

“I guess so,” he says with a quiet laugh.

 

* * *

  

“We really did spend too much time outside today, huh,” Sougo muses as he sips a can of coffee. Banri should be arriving to pick them up soon – they’re late enough for dinner as it is – but for now he and Tamaki sit side by side on a bench. After all the excitement of the day, they’ve spent a couple of minutes now in companionable silence. In a louder voice, Sougo says, “Tamaki-kun, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take up your whole day off.”

“S’fine,” Tamaki says easily. He’s still focused on eating the pudding Sougo bought him, but he’s at least not talking with his mouth full, so Sougo doesn’t comment. “I didn’t have to come, but I did.”

Sougo runs a mental translation of Tamaki Speak: _I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to_.

“You did,” he says with a tired laugh. Leave it to his partner to know what to say. For all his trouble with words, Tamaki seems like he’s at least learning a bit of Sougo Speak too. “Thank you for coming with me, then.”

Tamaki lets out a noise of surprise and Sougo has to stop his coffee from spilling all over his shirt as he jumps. Before he can even comment on it, Tamaki is already talking, “Sou-chan, you said thank you again!” Sougo shushes him on instinct, and Tamaki settles down though with a bit of a pout.

“Is it really that much of a surprise...?”

They lapse back into silence. This time, Tamaki is the first to break it. “Sou-chan?”

Sougo glances over. “Yes, Tamaki-kun?”

"We're going to decorate after this, right?"

That was the plan he'd made, wasn't it? He should've figured it'd be too uncharacteristic for any IDOLiSH7 member to stick to any plan completely, himself included. "Isn't it a bit late? You're a growing boy, so you need to have a regular sleep schedule."

Tamaki gives him a disbelieving look and he laughs softly. "Well, you should _try_ to have a regular sleep schedule," Sougo amends. "I wouldn't want to be the reason you're still up."

"You're going to be decorating, though?"

He blinks. He'd expected disagreement but not – this. "Huh?"

"You're going to be decorating," Tamaki repeats. "It's Sou-chan, so you're going to do it no matter what."

"Ah, that's..." Sougo fumbles for a word. Leave it to Tamaki to hit the nail on the head. He isn't stupid; of course he can see right through him.

"Different?" Tamaki offers, giving Sougo an incredulous look. He smiles sheepishly and Tamaki rolls his eyes. "If Sou-chan's gonna do it, then I am too," he says resolutely.

Maybe if it were two years, even one year ago Sougo might have argued. As it is, he just laughs again. "Okay," he says quietly. Tamaki has unintentionally given him a perfect segue, he thinks, and he grips at the bag in his hands, feeling as though it weighs a thousand more kilograms than the light few it does. "...Tamaki-kun?"

"Mm?"

"Speaking of decorating..." Sougo tightens his hold on the bag's handle. "I have something else I wanted to put up."

That seems to pique his interest. He turns to face Sougo fully, pudding temporarily abandoned as he shifts to sit sideways on the bench. He tilts his head a bit and Sougo can't help but think he looks a bit like a cute puppy. "What's up, Sou-chan?"

"I was thinking, since you got ornaments for everyone else..." He relaxes a bit and glances up to meet Tamaki's gaze. "I wanted to do something for you too," he explains as he fishes through the bag in his hands.

It's nothing special – just a little plastic piano ornament that you could probably find in any commercial store. Even without saying it, he’s sure Tamaki can tell why he picked this one, but he says anyway, “Your symbol is mezzo piano, so a piano is fitting, right?

“But,” he goes on. It feels silly – cheesy, even – to say it out loud now even though he’d felt so sure at the store.

But it’s Tamaki, after all. The least he can do for him is to talk in a loud voice and keep meeting him halfway.

“MEZZO isn’t what either of us wanted when we started out.” He tightens his grip on the can in his hand and focuses his gaze on the coffee sloshing inside. “But… I don’t think there’s anything I’d change about how things turned out.

“Through the good and the bad...” He raises his gaze to meet Tamaki’s eyes. “I’ve felt relieved because through it all, I’ve had you by my side. It’s simple but...” He pulls out his own little eighth note from the bag and holds it up next to the piano. “I’d like if we could keep working together from here on out.”

Tamaki is silent for a moment, before breaking out into a big grin. “Duh,” he says. “I already told you Sou-chan. Good or bad, I’ll sing any song you write. You’re stuck with me.”

In the distance, Sougo can see Banri’s car approaching. They’ll go back to the dorms, decorate, go to sleep under the same roof as the other IDOLiSH7 members. Just for this one moment, it’s as if his self doubt and anxieties didn’t matter. Tomorrow, he’ll wake up and keep trying his best to meet Tamaki and the other members halfway. For now, though, he’s never felt more like he’s at home.

“I’d like that, Tamaki-kun.”

 

* * *

 

“Guys,” Tamaki is calling out before he’s even gotten his shoes all the way off, “We got stuff!”

He takes off down towards the kitchen with the bags – he’d insisted on carrying them home, and now Sougo understands why – and Sougo huffs out a laugh. Even after being out all day, Tamaki still has a lot of energy. He feels like he can almost imagine Yamato complaining about “the youth these days.”

Or not – he can _hear_ it, from the kitchen down the hall, and he smiles as he carefully toes off his own shoes, lining up his and Tamaki’s neatly alongside the others. “We’re home,” he says to no one in particular.

He doesn’t think he spoke loud enough to be heard over the hustle and bustle of their dorm, but Riku pokes his head out of the kitchen with a grin. “Sougo-san! We were waiting for you guys!”

“Ah, Riku-kun, you guys didn’t have to do that…” he says as he slips into the kitchen.

“Nonsense!” Mitsuki calls from his place by the stove. He’s still decked out in his signature apron and Sougo can’t help but feel a pang of guilt. “Unless we’ve got work keeping us, we’re going to eat together. We’re family, right? Welcome home.”

It’s far from the first time any of them – himself included – have called IDOLiSH7 a family, but it never fails to tug on Sougo’s heartstrings. After the warmth of today, it feels so much bigger and important.

He wonders if he’ll be able to convey his gratitude properly some day.

For now, Sougo can at least try his best with the little things. “Thank you for waiting for us,” he says, and sits down to eat dinner with his family.

**Author's Note:**

> the most will-like thing about this project is that this fic is above 8k words and yet its only a fraction of what id intended to write when i started out
> 
> this was being written since before the rabichas for the holiday collection started coming out, so i guess it’s not technically canon compliant? if you can even consider rabichas themselves canon compliant because they seem to exist in a world outside of the actual plot just like this fic lol
> 
> some quick notes!  
> \- all of the “our/their/possessive [insert member name here]” parts of my fic were written after i read our dear tamaki’s fic draft for the first time and fell in love with her “our nagi” bit with mitsu  
> \- the ornament assignments were also an idea becky (our tamaki) came up with, and i’m still [pumps fist in the air]  
> \- i owe emil especially my life for help with nagi, even though i wound up... not writing nagi speaking at all...  
> \- thank you to the members for putting up with my screaming about ornaments, and helping me pick things!
> 
> thank you for reading this fic! the other writers/members are all really amazing, so please go check out the ones already posted and look forward to our dear nagi and riku!


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